Terminal Lance “B[A]S”

It’s hard to BS at BAS.

Corpsmen are awesome. They’re the only people in the Navy that Marines love unconditionally. If Staff Sergeant is the platoon’s abusive alcoholic father, the Corpsman is like the sheltered mother. She’s also abused, but she looks after you during the quiet times and makes sure you eat your Motrin. I realize this is an awful metaphor.

Snagging an SIQ (Sick in Quarters) chit, however, is like mining for blood diamonds in Africa. As well, I don’t recommend putting dollar bills in your mouth, you never know where they’ve been or whose hands have been on them much like the women of Jacksonville. This technique is the same as slipping a dollar bill in your chamber when turning your weapon into the armory early. More Marines would probably do it, if they had any money left from episodes of gratuitous drinking over the weekend.

Anyway, show Doc some love. He puts up with your dumb ass and gives you drugs, what more do you want from someone?

This comic was previously published in the Marine Corps Times newspaper, so if you’ve seen it before, you’re not having a hallucinogenic experience from all the ibuprofen that Doc gave you. Long week.

For your weekend liberty brief, I’m going to give you some medical advice:

If you picked her up in Jacksonville or Oceanside, double wrap it just to be safe.