Terminal Lance “It Writes Itself”

When I read this story online about how the first candidates for female infantry officers had already failed the course, I knew I had to make a strip about it. I soon realized, however, that there was no way I could write a better punchline than the story itself.

I’m sorry, I don’t mean to make this a boys vs girls thing, and it really isn’t. I’m generally a fairly open-minded person, and I think my mentions of how I feel about Don’t Ask Don’t Tell have displayed the kind of opinion I usually stand behind. However, I never really understood the push for females in the infantry. There’s little to no benefit to it. Men do the infantry just fine, and the infantry is a very physical job. My opinion on this has little to do with principle and more to do with the physiology and logistics of it.

Now, that’s not to say that there aren’t plenty of women out there that could kick my ass:

Her vagina is a penis.

…But this isn’t the norm.

Additionally, accommodating females in the infantry would be a logistical nightmare. It’s bad enough just getting an attachment female Marine in-country–she has to have her own head, her own sleeping quarters, etc. It’s just unnecessary. Why waste our time and money on something that men are already and have been doing just fine for many years? Is it out of principle? I’m all for equal rights, but I almost always go with practicality over principle.

Don’t misinterpret me, I think female Marines do great stuff. I’ve worked with the Lioness program and it’s great having females available to search female detainees–so I do understand the practical application, but females just aren’t needed in the infantry.

There are plenty of things wrong with the infantry. Sex and gender issues aren’t one of them.

The argument I hate hearing, however, is that “you can’t have females in the infantry because they’ll get raped,” which I think men should be insulted by; as it insinuates that we aren’t capable of self-control. Rape is a horrible act and to justify it with “well it’s gonna happen” is disgusting.

Maybe in a few hundred years we’ll see the mixed showers of Starship Troopers as commonplace, but judging from our female friends that just bombed the Infantry Officer’s Course… it might be a bit longer.