Terminal Lance #194 “Bootcamp: The Bootcamp Barber”

It feels something like that.

Seriously though, I don’t know exactly what it is, but the barber at bootcamp is the most painful haircut you’ll ever receive. This is the kind of barber that asks if you have any bumps or moles on your head, then tells you they’re coming off. He then proceeds to force his 0-length buzzers into your scalp like he’s skinning a buffalo.

I’m guessing the reason for this is because they want your hair as close to bald as possible. Unfortunately, you can’t just bic your head like one might do in the fleet, they want it done at the barber shop with buzzers. I suppose I was never a huge fan of the holocaust victim look–and I remember the day in 3rd phase that we were allowed to get high-and-tight haircuts. Of course, like the shiny little boot I was, I ate it up and got the highest and tightest of ‘do’s. I remember later, when I was aboard SOI West at Camp Pendleton, I saw one of my compatriots with a strangely lower haircut, unlike all the other boot students. I asked him what he told the barber, and like it was some kind of inside-trader secret, he looked left and right and told me:

“…Tell the barber you want a ‘medium-reg’.”

…and I never looked back.

In other news, I’ll be at a couple of places on Saturday if everything goes as planned. If you’re going to the Palo Alto IRR muster, look for me there on Saturday morning. If you’re not, I might also be at a comic store in Oakland doing some kind of reading or otherwise comic-related thing there. I’ll post the details when I figure them out!

I don’t think I’ll be selling any books, but if you have a copy of “KNIFE-HANDS!!!” feel free to bring it by and I will bless it with my markings. If you don’t have one, there’s still time to get one!