Okay, I’m obviously not implying that all Military Working Dog handlers fuck their companion animals… just most of them.

But really, I always thought being a dog handler would be an awesome job. Maybe it’s just cause I love dogs–anyone that follows my Twitter, Instagram or Tumblr can tell you that–but being able to spend a deployment with a furry friend would just be awesome. I had the opportunity during my second deployment to Iraq in 2009 to embed with our own working dog handlers and I loved it. There’s something just relaxing about having a dog around–or at least one that isn’t mangy and covered in its own filth. Either way, even those local FOB dogs that show up and hang out are a warm welcome from the monotony of a deployment (until some piece of shit decides he wants to shoot it for no reason–which always happens).

Back to working dogs though, I actually don’t know with 100% certainty that the dogs technically outrank their handlers. Is that on paper or something? Could you get a Page 11 if you don’t give a MWD the proper greeting of the day?

Stand at Parade Rest, motherfucker.