Tag: barracks

  • Welcome to the Rapture

    Welcome to the Rapture

    Marines have a tumultuous relationship with God and other heavenly beings. Some claim that God seems to love Marines, but if that were true, why does he make them stand post on the streets of Heaven? It seems Marines can never catch a break, alive or dead, and so it would be fitting that even if the world were to end tomorrow, you’d still have to go on this field op.

    Pack your shit.

    I got really sucked into the whole rapture thing this week, but probably not for the reasons that the insane people on TikTok who believe it’s happening do. You see, I came across the Panama meteor alien on TikTok randomly, which told TikTok that I must really love dumb conspiracy stuff, so consequently the algorithm started serving me up a ton of weirdos preparing for this heavenly event.

    If you want some extra behind-the-scenes with commentary from yours truly on this comic, head over to the official TL Patreon. I’m also uploading these behind-the-scenes bits to FB and Instagram if you’d prefer to subscribe there. Terminal Lance is 100% independent since 2010, so please check them out if you feel inclined to support indie creators that make you laugh.

    I’d say the biggest challenge facing TL right now is just that everything is so segmented these days. There are just so many social media platforms and I’ve been trying to find an elegant way to tie them all together. Terminal Lance ultimately lives right here on this website, but ad revenue, subscriptions etc are done on different platforms.

    In the meantime, we have a CONTEST going on right now! Check it out right here for a chance to win some TL swag.

  • The Weekend Crew

    The Weekend Crew

    If there’s one thing we can all agree on, it’s that no one wants to be in the barracks. The barracks is the place you are forced to be in, and any time you have the freedom to venture out, you take it.

    The weekend crew are the Marines left behind on Saturday and Sunday with no means to escape their den of misery. Most of the time, these are boots that haven’t met a girl (or boy) out in town who will let them crash at their place for the weekend, or motivated NCO’s who have embraced their bachelor life, or the duty. Let’s also not forget our dearest Restriction Marines, who grace us with their belligerent presence at all hours.

    In some respects, the weekend is ironically the quietest time to be at the barracks. You may actually hang out just to experience peace and quiet after a long week of nonsense during work hours and binge-drinking in the night. Whatever reason you have for staying back on the weekend, there’s always someone to hang out with.

  • Olympian Shooter

    Olympian Shooter

    As of writing, the United States has 1 Gold Medal in the Olympic shooting category, putting us in 3rd place behind China and South Korea. To say I am ashamed and embarrassed is to put it lightly. This is America, dammit! As a nation without free healthcare, guns are kind of all we have. We need to win this.

    We need to send our best.

    There’s various archetypes in every Marine platoon that you can always count on to be there. We’ve covered many of them before, but one of them is the lanky white redneck that can gut any animal, hit any target, and sleep with any one of his cousins. He’s been building his own guns out of rusty pipes and firecrackers since he was a kid, making him an expert in the shooting arts.

    Today is the day we call upon him to bring us home the gold. We need you, lanky hillbilly guy.

  • Edible Arrangements

    Edible Arrangements

    Whelp, after 3 years of skating by this whole pandemic, it’s finally happened… I got COVID. Nothing but snot, phlegm and coughing and hacking over here. I really thought I’d get through this whole ordeal unscathed, but I suppose my luck was bound to run out at some point.

    For what it’s worth, I’m more or less fine. I’m fortunate enough to have been vaccinated, boosted, and all that. We all got sick about a week ago, so I’m near the tail-end of it now. This week my focus has been much more on my toddler son, who is also sick—but he’s also more or less doing fine at this point.

    In other news, I just wanted to mention that I’ll be in Okinawa next month for Okinawa Comic-Con! I’ll be staying aboard Camp Foster and hanging out the first week of December. I’m excited because this will be my first time in Oki!

    I can finally see what everyone has been complaining about. More details to come on when and where I’ll be for those of you on the island. Always keep up with TL on Instagram and other social media outlets for the latest.

  • The Lance Corporal Underground

    The Lance Corporal Underground

    My buddy at headquarters told me they’re gonna make “Senior Lance Corporal” an actual rank. It’ll be like Specialist in the Army, but not retarded.

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    I heard Trump wants to limit the military to only gay and lesbians to cut down on the cost of dependents.

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    I heard Alvarez got busted down so many times they sent him back to boot camp.

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    My buddy at battalion said our unit is on standby to be deployed to Iraq any day now…

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    There’s this wook over at supply that will hook you up if you hook her up… With women. She’s lesbian as fuck.

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    I heard the POG barracks have an ice cream machine and live concerts on Thursdays.

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    My cousin in boot camp told me they’re handing out stress cards now, and they’re not gonna do the reaper anymore.

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    There’s a stripper out in town that’s married to 17 different Marines in the battalion. At the same time.

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    A friend of mine in DC told me General Mattis is going to start doing free Panda Express Monday in the chow hall after he takes office.

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    No one has seen Thompson for 3 weeks, but we keep signing his name on the roster because we don’t want to get in trouble.

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  • Friday Night

    Friday Night

    It’s 2059 on a Friday night at the barracks.

    Pizza delivery cars riddle the parking lot and beer cans can be seen crunched up, or tipped over in the smoke pit. Marines huddle around each other trying to bum cigarettes and butt fucking cherries since only one person has a lighter. The asshole always playing his guitar on the benches strums away as a passerby steps on and knocks over his spitter. The hills in the background are filled with drunk Marines laughing and falling as the duty can be heard yelling at them to come back. The atmosphere is light and almost unforgettable.

    Friends start to slowly pile out of their cars returning from downtown; some are intoxicated, some are sober, and some are just out of their minds. “Yuts” and “Rahs” can be heard all through the parking lots, while those on looking just shake their heads and laugh. Co-workers come up and say their hellos, wearing possibly more beer than they even drank and the smell of cheap whiskey rolls off of their breath with every word they speak. They talk about their adventures for the night and stories of different bars, the “Purple Church” and different girls/guys are exchanged.

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    Open barracks room doors give a show of their own. One room has Marines piled in just to watch a “thunder dome” match, with music blaring so the duty can’t hear them. Down a tier an open room shows two friends watching a scary movie, drinking beer and angry from all the noise that’s being caused upstairs. Another room is just a Marine all alone with his door open, all the lights off, except for a computer screen playing League of Legends, or WOW, and just enjoying his time off of work.

    As you walk on the catwalk to your room you pass the laundry room and peak your head in. The room is empty and as you walk up to the folding table in the middle of the room you start to read some of the doodles and scribbles that are on it: “Cockasaurus rex,” “Wagner loves cock,” “SSgt eats my dick,” etc. You can’t help but chuckle. You exit the room to see two more Marines running the catwalks fighting each other off with beer can swords that they just made that night. You continue on and as you look to your right someone throws a blue mattress off of the tier above you and all you can think is “What the fuck just happened?”

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    Minding your own business you slowly make your way to your room. You open the door to an empty room and let out a sigh of relief. The room to yourself for the night, or at least you hope. You plop down on to your bed and turn your tv on to watch some Netflix, but of course it doesn’t work because the barracks internet never works. You shut your TV off and close your eyes and think to yourself…

    “Only X more days until I EAS.”