Maximilian

Creator


Terminal Lance BATTLE OF THE MOTIVATORS

May 7, 2021

S E M P E R  F I G H T!!!

The Duel of the Century is upon us! The svelt tan-belt versus the voluptuous dad-bod defender for the crown of most motivated Marine! Who will walk away the victor? I’d say this is a pretty even toss-up.

Motivation in the Marine Corps is defined as how much you love… Well… The Marine Corps. How much do you love Marine Corps shit? Stuff like PT, haircuts, camouflage paint, putting EGA’s on everything you own. That is motivation.

Boots are naturally motivated by default. Extremely proud of their most recent (and only) accomplishment of being ordained the title of Marine through the fires of boot camp, they own their title with an unnatural and shameless pride that is annoying to basically every normal person. Then comes the fleet.

Upon arrival to the fleet, the new Marine will either succumb to the temptations of shit-baggery and attain their DD-214 no second too-soon; or they will keep that glimmer of motivation and keep reenlisting. With each reenlistment, their motivation levels increase, sometimes even doubling. By the time they reach the higher ranks of the Staff NCO, their motivation levels may be too high to function in normal society.

This battle is truly one for the ages.

In personal news, I’ve been away for a couple of weeks because my wife and I just had our first baby. It’s been a whirlwind of sleepless nights and poopy diapers, but please welcome Theodore Uriarte to the mix.

As time has gone on with Terminal Lance, I find that I talk about myself less and try more to keep the focus on the Marines and the Marine Corps. Rest assured, I’m alive and well and working on some exciting new endeavors for TL and beyond. Stay tuned, hopefully we’ll have some great news in the near future!

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Maximilian

Creator

Terminal Lance #548 “Gaming the Throne”

May 24, 2019

In every Marine Corps infantry company there exists at least one Marine that’s just a total piece of shit, but keeps getting selected for meritorious boards and other awards. It’s like he’s casted some kind of shrouding spell over the eyes of his Staff NCO’s and Officers and they can’t see him for what he really is. As he gets selected for meritorious boards, showered with praise, the Marines around can’t help but wonder…

What the fuck?

There’s tens to twenties to perhaps even a hundred Marines in the company that deserve such praise ahead of this guy, but somehow, someway, he rises above the rest like some kind of shit-filled Space X rocket. He’ll eventually fail upward so far that he’ll some day be in charge of an entire platoon, or a company, or a battalion himself.

And thus, a new Staff NCO is born.

I don’t know how many of you saw the Game of Thrones series finale, but Bran the Broke-dick is basically that guy. He does fuck-all for 8 seasons, never uses his advanced powers to help the fight, and ends up being king of everyone.

Game the game, gents. Because the game will go on whether you’re part of it or not.

Maximilian

Creator

Terminal Lance #524 “Take Note”

July 20, 2018

Rite-in-the-Rain has made a killing on the Marine Corps. Those notebooks can be found in every Marine’s pocket from PFC to Sergeant Major, and each one is filled with hundreds of doodles of demented thoughts and musings of bored Marines forced to take notes during some random class in the field.

In every Marine’s notebook, you’ll find the first page to be the only one that contains any important information. This ranges from squad leader names and numbers to rifle serial numbers, etc. Every page after that is usually blank, or filled with half notes of SOP’s, radio procedures, scribbles and random dicks of all shapes and sizes. Occasionally you’ll come across a page with genuine notes from an important class, but the Marine will have long forgotten what the context was, rendering the note absolutely useless.

And yet, every single Marine will have their writing gear with them at all times.

Understand?