Terminal Lance “Gag Reflex”

October 23, 2019

The Career Planner is a weird guy. He’s like a recruiter, except instead of luring high school students to Applebee’s, he preys on already-enlisted Marines. Each Marine he re-enlists is another notch on his belt, feasting off of the legendary power of DD-214’s that were never to be, and youth lost to the Corps.

Don’t fall for his ruse, for it is… a ruse.

There are few reenlistment incentives that can match the holy power of the Post 9/11 GI Bill. The career planner knows this, so he will try to trick you with bonuses and promises of a better future, perhaps even select items of your choosing. The second term is better, he says, you’ll be treated with more respect.

You must resist, for this deal can not be undone. A second enlistment leads to a third, and then a fourth, and next thing you know, you’re at the PX eyeing that mess dress uniform and justifying its $1300 cost.

There is no justification.

…It’s all a ruse.



Terminal Lance #520 “The Birth of a Lifer”

June 12, 2018

Seeing your friends reenlist is always a sad moment. On one hand, you want to be supportive of their decision, even though you know it’s bad; quite like watching your best friend get engaged to that horrible woman everyone hates and knows is terrible for him. On the other, you know that you’ll probably never see them again, and they’ll have to skip starting that irreverent veteran T-shirt/coffee company you were planning in favor of their new career.

Worse yet, you know they’ll eventually turn to the dark side of the Corps. No longer content with the goings on of the Lance Corporal, they soon crave power and malice. You watch their souls slowly disintegrate as they become NCO’s, and then Staff NCO’s. You watch from Facebook as they proudly pin on rocker after rocker, knowing full well they’ve become the very thing they swore to hate when you were all young.

It’s sad, but it happens all the time, and all you can really do is sit back and watch.

If you know someone who might be thinking about reenlisting, tell them that the Post 9/11 GI Bill is totally a great alternative.



Terminal Lance #480 “The Talk”

June 27, 2017

Staff NCO’s always take it so personally when you tell them you don’t want to reenlist.

Of course, to each their own, I wouldn’t dream of telling anyone how to live their life. If the military lifestyle is working great for you and you love the relative stability of it all, by all means keep re-upping. After all, retiring at the age of 38 is actually a pretty sweet gig, if you make it that far.

However, the Post 9/11 GI Bill really opened up an entire world of opportunity for those of us that take advantage of it (and you should). Even if you actually don’t hate your life at all, getting out and exploring something new is a great way to live, and you have all the freedom in the world to do it.

With that said, even I know some guys that might have been better off just staying in. Generally, they’re the guys that don’t use the GI Bill to go back to school, bounce around shitty jobs and wondering why life on the outside sucks, grow out their veteran beard and live off VA disability checks for their “injuries” and accost people on Facebook for not thanking them for their service.

Don’t be that guy either. Just remember that it’s your life, you get to decide how to live it.

(Unless you reenlist, then the Marine Corps gets to decide. Sorry.)

On a side note, yesterday was weird.


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