Geared Up

July 18, 2021

The Marine Corps Exchange (colloquially known as the PX) is especially skilled at separating young Marines from their hard-earned paychecks. Among the top categories for junior enlisted to blow their cash on is the tactical section of every store, where the hottest coyote-brown gear from your favorite manufacturers is ready for the purchasing. How can one resist the allure of Oakley M-Frames with interchangeable lenses? You will surely be the most hardcore operator in your platoon when you show up in non-issued gear on your next field op.

There’s a social angle here too, as those that have the most privately purchased gear in place of their issued items is considered saltier and more experienced. Taking a whole custom chest rig out to the field looks so much cooler than having to wear the standard-issue (if your command allows it).

The Corps issues every Marine two disgusting, plastic, green canteens, but god forbid you actually use them.

Real Marines use Nalgene bottles hanging from a carabiner.

On a sidenote, I was turned off the green canteens personally because the very first ones I was issued in bootcamp had mold (and god knows what else) in them. I went to take a drink on day one and got a mouthful of nasties.

I suppose this should have been an indication of the kind of adventure I was in for…

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Terminal Lance “Stars and Stripes”

May 1, 2020

America’s enemies wish they could damage the lives of Marines as drastically and efficiently as the MILITARY STAR CARD offered by the Military Exchanges (PX).

Readily available to literally any Marine that wants one, the STAR CARD is a credit card ubiquitous for sapping the financial souls of our young men and women of the armed forces. This card by itself was probably the reason for the Personal Financial Management course, putting people of all ranks out of cash for years to come.

Financially independent for the first time in their lives, young Marines aren’t exactly great with money. Throw in a credit card offered by the base’s own sales tax-free store and you have a recipe for long term financial damage.

If ISIS really wanted to hurt America’s military, they’d offer a credit card with a high limit and fuck them for life.