Maximilian

Creator


Terminal Lance #491 “Honor, Courage, and Lots of Commitment”

September 8, 2017

There’s a somewhat dubious amount of commitment involved in being a Marine. The standard contract is 4 years, though many are 5 depending on what MOS you choose. As are most things in the military, this contract is very one-sided, and it’s not you that gets the final say in anything. It may as well be a sheet of paper that states:

UNCLE SAM OWNS YOUR ASS FOR 4 YEARS, SIGN AND DATE HERE:________________

Unlike most occupations, you can’t quit if you decide it doesn’t suit you. At best, you can ride out your 4 year commitment and give your career planner the finger when it comes time to think about reenlistment. If you choose not to show up, because maybe it’s just not for you, you’ll be sent to prison. It raises the interesting question of how many people would willingly subject themselves to the Marine Corps lifestyle if they weren’t legally bound to it.

My guess is not many.

Imagine you meet up with a girl (or boy) on Tinder, you’ve never met them before but they had a solid profile. You know what I mean; not too creepy, clear photos, one photo with a puppy or some shit, with a bio that reads like a relatively sane person.

You meet up at your local bar and you hit it off well enough. She seems great, but you’re aware you’ve only known her for 45 minutes. Anyway, the mood is right so you decide to take her back to your place. Things get hot and heavy on the couch, and she gets up to the bathroom to freshen up before what is bound to happen next…

…She comes back with a 4 year relationship agreement.

Yeah that’s basically what joining the Marine Corps is like. It’s quite a gamble really, and 4 years is a significant chunk of life to give to pretty much anything… Though I’m sure your recruiter convinced you it wasn’t.



Maximilian

Creator

Terminal Lance #442 “Bootcamp: The Care Package”

October 4, 2016

Bootcamp is a shitty 3 months.

As if you don’t have enough to worry about with sweaty, angry men yelling at you 24 hours a day, you never know what might be lurking in a box some good-intentioned family member or friend sent your way.

Comedian Sarah Silverman panicked yesterday after realizing she may have made a grave mistake for her recruit nephew.

Of course, in reality he will most likely be fine, assuming she didn’t send a box of dildos (possible, being familiar with her comedy). Sadly though, her sudden panic is actually a result of reading headlines surrounding the abuse scandals apparent to Parris Island Recruit Depot. I’ve stayed away from the subject on Terminal Lance, for the most part because I hate reading the comments. Hard-charging keyboard warriors act as if being thrown into a dryer is a regular occurrence that all recruits must suffer (it’s not).

Even without such flagrant abuse, boot camp is arduous and mostly awful. I’ve said it before, but I would much rather go back to Iraq than do another 3 months at MCRD being treated like a recruit. I feel the worst for those poor kids that spend months in medical recovery, being treated like recruits for much longer than originally intended.

On a side note, Recruit Toms might become my goto recurring character for all matters pertaining to boot camp. After I finished drawing this strip, I realized the poolee in the third panel looked a lot like my rendition of Jodie. I wonder if perhaps this is his origin story–a failed recruit–a fallen angel of sorts.

Only time will tell, but in the meantime, don’t be a dick with your care packages (literally and figuratively).

On a sidenote, I’m still looking for content and creators! Email me at maximilian.uriarte@terminallance.com with something funny. Preference goes to Active Duty, but I’m open to anyone¬†that is good.

I’m super happy to have the new site up and running! We’re still working out some kinks with the functionality on this end, but should be straightened out soon enough. Check out the new Opinions section by using the menu at the top of the page.