Terminal Lance #541 “Tone Deaf”

April 5, 2019

If you’re infantry, there are fairly good odds you will exit the Marine Corps with worse hearing than you had. If for nothing else, then the fact that you will fire weapons basically all the time and will wear hearing protection for very little of it. This isn’t usually a conscious choice–though sometimes it is–but more often than not you simply don’t bother to put hearing protection in when you’re firing because it’s a hassle and we’re all very lazy creatures.

That weird tone test at the end of your enlistment becomes the most difficult test you’ve ever taken in your life. Trying to distinguish the 1980’s style digital tones from the backdrop of your constant tinnitus ringing becomes a nerve-wracking endeavor.

Did I just hear a tone…?

I’m not sure…

…I’d better press it…





Press that little button if you dare.

On a side note, this strip was created with the help of the veterans of Spokane, Washington at Gonzaga University earlier this week. I was invited out to Gonzaga as part of their Telling War series, which is a great program inviting guest speakers of veteran artists such as myself to talk nonsense and hang out for a couple of days. This strip was created during a workshop that I led with a small group of veterans on the campus, and every single one of us knew exactly how this awkward hearing test goes.

While I was there I also sat down with KPBX, the local public radio affiliate and had a great conversation that you can listen to here.

I also sat down with a super cool couple of veterans running a podcast out of Gonzaga University about veteran success stories that you can listen to here.

Massive thank you to everyone that came out to show the love and helped make this a great trip! Also huge thank you to the veteran group that helped me whip up this comic!

Stay tuned.



Terminal Lance “Fly Hard”

November 17, 2017

Making national news today was a hero of a Navy pilot that decided to grace ground-dwellers with a beautifully simple erect penis against the deep blue sky.

Penis drawings are a mainstay of the military across all branches. Dicks find their way into every facet of military life, from the bathroom walls to the people that yell at you for breaking rules you didn’t know existed. By god, even the women draw raging dicks on everything. It is one of the most basic, instinctual habits since the dawn of mankind, and it’s hilarious 100% of the time.

Of course, these pilots are in some deep water because the military loves to pretend it isn’t generally an adult daycare center for people with lots of guns and anger problems. I was interviewed earlier today for the Washington Post regarding this story, as I’ve apparently become one of the nation’s leading experts on dick drawing.

Now I’m just waiting for some Marines to up the ante on this, because the Navy is putting us to shame right now.

Speaking of dicks, I’ll be at Camp Pendleton TOMORROW! (Saturday, 11/17)

Find me at the new mainside PX by the front gate from 1100-1300. We should have copies of The White Donkey available for purchase there if you’re missing one. Come say hi!



Terminal Lance “The Day My Marine Corps Came Alive”

November 10, 2017

The Corps is steeped in a rich history of drunken men fighting people all around the world.

Were it not for that first alcoholic that raised his hand and said, “Yes, I will ride around in a boat and fight people I’ve never met,” we wouldn’t be here today celebrating the 242nd birthday of the prestigious United States Marine Corps.

We always hear the tale of the Marine Corps’ humble beginnings in Tun Tavern back on November 10th, 1775; but we never really get the details. I like to imagine it went down something like this, though I know the (then) British Navy uniforms are illustrated here without any regard to historical accuracy, but that’s because Google Image Search failed me when I attempted to figure it out.

On a sidenote, I’d like to thank the Marines from MALS-13 for letting me crash their birthday ball as the guest of honor last night. My wife and I had an amazing time and it was great getting to see all you drunk assholes having a blast in that hanger. Swinging with the wing for a night is quite a bit of fun.

Happy 242nd Birthday, Marines.