Terminal Lance “Libo Squad”

August 25, 2020

Boots… Boots never change. Someone said to me that this comic could take place in 2020 or 1970 and it would change nothing. You may be asking yourself, what is it about boots that makes them so ubiquitously geeky? So ridiculously, over-the-top lame? Is it the fashion? The backpacks? The complete doe-eyed innocence in their nerdy swagger?

It’s a bit of all of the above. Boots can’t help themselves from being exceptionally awful because they don’t know any better. The Marine Corps is an honest cross-sampling of America, which is kind of what makes it such a wonderful place of immense diversity, but also a place of unpredictable bootness. Most of these kids joining the Corps have never left home, and never had anyone beyond their mom buy them clothes.

Equipped in their seabags with little more than their finest mom-jeans and their virginity, boots descend upon the small military towns of America ready to light up the town with their blissful ignorance. Tour any military town in America and find barely legal boots in packs and with backpacks ready to take on the world, innocent and free of shame.



Terminal Lance “Liberty Interrupted”

May 15, 2020

Marines get liberty on the weekends. Liberty means you leave me the fuck alone for at least 48 hours and I’ll deal with your bullshit on Monday.

In a world where every thought and action is controlled and regulated, the few brief hours of conditional freedom you get at the end of the day or on the weekend is to be cherished and savored, not interrupted and ruined by the whims of NCO’s and drunk First Sergeants.

Are you an NCO? Thinking about texting your Marines about something that “NEEDS” to get done on the weekend? Maybe just put a pin in it until Monday.

It can wait.



Terminal Lance #550 “Technological Advantage”

June 7, 2019

Life as a junior enlisted Marine is arduous enough as it is, what with the constant, ever-flowing stream of bullshit drifting your way each and every day. Miscellaneous Staff NCO’s make that life even more annoying, as they seem to be lurking around nearly every corner on base (and sometimes even off base) to “correct” you in behavior that is deemed as unbecoming of the Corps. This is naturally more tedious than it sounds, since this is never about anything important, but random slights that no one is actually sure are real rules.

Forgetting to shave, not wearing a belt, or even just walking on some grass can be grounds for a massively butt-hurt lifer Staff NCO to spawn out of nowhere and make you the victim of his undiagnosed anger management problems. Even leaving your barracks room with a day old shave makes you feel uneasy, because you know they are lurking, seemingly everywhere, specifically to make your life that extra bit miserable than it needs to be.

Meet Lyfr, the app that lets Staff NCO’s track down Marines that may (or may not) be breaking arbitrary base-wide or MCO rules that no one cares about.

Be careful out there this weekend, gents… You never know who might pop up to yell at you.



Terminal Lance #516 “The Piggyback”

May 18, 2018

Does anyone have any saved rounds? No? Okay well let me just piggyback off what First Sergeant just said…

There are few things worse in a Lance Corporal’s garrison life than the piggyback. This is when a Staff NCO or officer feels desperately like he needs to squeeze in a few extra words or else the Lance Corporals of the company may go feral and eat the locals or something. This inevitably causes the weekend liberty brief to drag on, as each member of your chain of command feels compelled to tell you the same shit you just heard but in a different voice.

With that said, I’ll keep my weekend brief for you all short:

If you wouldn’t put your mouth on it, don’t put your dick in it.

Have a great weekend.