Maximilian

Creator


Terminal Lance #515 “The New Infantry”

May 15, 2018

In case you haven’t heard, the Corps excitedly announced some new rearranging of the standard Marine Corps infantry squad yesterday that included a few new roles for the 0311. Each team will now consist of three Marines (instead of 4) and three brand new billets have been added: Grenadier, Assistant Squad Leader, and Squad Systems Operator. Also included is the new Fuck Fuck Boot, who will provide the squad with humor and an outlet for their aggression.

While this billet has already been a longtime staple of the Corps, giving it official recognition and its own squad designation insignia is a big step forward for the Marines.

On a real note, it’s exciting to see so much change being affected within the organization, which is an organization not known to embrace change very often. More change has happened in the last 5-10 years than ever did during my short 4-year tenure as a Lance Corporal of Marines. This is probably because the world itself has changed quite a bit, with technology becoming more interesting and useful every day. It’s legit pretty neat to see this stuff making its way into the line units where it’s needed.

Good luck to all you new Fuck Fuck Boots, you’ll need it.



Maximilian

Creator

Terminal Lance #510 “Respect in the Military”

April 3, 2018

Respect is important in the military. In fact, one would argue that respect is paramount to the entire damn operation. If your subordinates don’t respect you, you’re going to have a much harder time getting them to do things. Getting people to do things they may not want to do is literally the entire point of military service from day one.

You’ll find within the military community at large that respect is directly correlated to misery. How miserable is your fucking life? Within its own context, infantry Marines are usually at the top of the food chain in terms of how they’re universally regarded. However, this is a double-edged NCO sword, because it must mean that their life is extremely shit. This is a law of physics exclusive to the military.

I call this the Law of Shit.

Respect is tied directly to how shit your life is.

It is nearly a one-to-one relationship. If you work in an office and you don’t spend half your week sleeping in the dirt and being treated like you’re ten years old with forty of your best and worst friends, your life is probably not shit. You have the benefit of telling people “my Marine Corps career wasn’t so bad,” and they’ll immediately know you were a POG. This is because infantry Marines universally hate their fucking lives as Marines, and will never regard their experience with such jubilant nostalgia.

Because it was shit.

The Law of Shit is not limited to the Marine Corps either, you’ll find that the Army, Navy and Air Force experience this as well. The Army is blessed with its own miserable fucking infantry, and they earn the respect of the Navy and the Air Force as a result. The latter two don’t bother worrying about respect, because they’re much more comfortable sleeping in air conditioning that works.

Maximilian

Creator

Terminal Lance #509 “Foundational”

March 23, 2018

Being in the infantry sucks. It sucks so much, in fact, that one has to assume it’s intentional. When people refer to the Marine Corps and refer to “The Suck,” what they really mean is every day life in the infantry. The problem I have trying to discuss the suck of the infantry in relation to other MOS fields is that one always assumes we’re talking about combat. Naturally, but that’s really not the heart of the problem.

In a straight up POG environment, one is usually sent to a shop where they work with like 5 other Marines. They can’t treat each other like total garbage, because they have to work with each other every day and each one is doing the thing they are paid to do. In the infantry, you have like 50 dudes in a platoon, and you’re all treated like total shit on some level. The shit tends to roll downhill, so if you’re a boot, you’re treated like shit by your senior Lance Corporals. If you’re a senior Lance Corporal or NCO, you’re treated like shit by your Staff NCO’s. If you’re a Staff NCO at a platoon level, you better believe Gunny and First Sergeant treat you like shit.

The infantry is treated like shit. It is the foundations on which the Marine Corps rests. Any time someone reads my comics and says to me “I don’t really remember the Corps being that bad…”

…I immediately know they were a POG.

Maximilian

Creator

Terminal Lance #503 “All Your Base: Bridgeport”

February 6, 2018

Those of you that were keeping up with my ongoings on Instagram and otherwise probably noticed that I spent a few days over at the Marine Corps Mountain Warfare Training Center in Bridgeport, California last week. The mountain was cold and the Marines were absolutely miserable, just as god intended.

I had the pleasure of hanging out with infantry battalions 2/5, 3/8 and 1/6 while I was up there, and they all hated their lives about as much as you can imagine when you have to sleep in the cold, shit in a bucket, and melt snow for water for two weeks. Even having experienced month-long excursions to Camp Wilson for Mojave Viper myself, I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen Marines as absolutely soul-crushed as I did when I was up there. If I recall correctly, the battalions had about 30 Marines drop to either BAS or the emergency room while I was there. Everything from frostbite, traumatic brain injuries from slipping on the ice, and suicide attempts seemed to be commonplace there.

It was as depressing as you can imagine, and I did my best to brighten up the Marines while I was there. Eating MRE’s and tray rats for a few days definitely took me back to a place I really didn’t miss. With that said, I absolutely slept in a toasty VIP tent the whole time, because I stopped doing real Marine shit a long time ago. However, even I was ready to get the hell out of there after two nights on the mountain.

The shit buckets care not for your misery.

On a sidenote, I want to say thanks to everyone on the base at Bridgeport and the Marines training there for letting me hang out and harass them for a few days. The NCO and SNCO instructors (red hats) on the mountain were a great bunch of guys and I appreciate them taking care of me up there. As well, shout out to Burrito and Davey, my ComCam battle buddies for hanging out with me for a few days.

With that said, my award for favorite Marine goes to this hard charger with 1/6 Bravo Co. from Mayo, South Carolina.

1/6 Bravo Co. keeping it motivated for survival night in Bridgeport (with TL creator @tlcplmax). #terminallance #military #marinecorps #marines #usmc

A post shared by Terminal Lance (@terminallance) on

On another side note, I’ll be live tomorrow morning at 10am with Pin-Ups for Vets to talk about the upcoming Terminal Lance Ultimate Omnibus! Check out Pin-Ups for Vets here and stay tuned for the live chat tomorrow!

Maximilian

Creator

Terminal Lance #502 “God Loves Marines II”

January 26, 2018

As a Senior Lance Corporal, when I hated someone, I made them stand post. It’s because of this basic logic that I refuse to believe the common trope that God in fact loves Marines. Gunny R. Lee Ermey in Full Metal Jacket would have you believe otherwise, but it just doesn’t add up.

If God loves Marines so much, why does he make them stand post when they get to heaven? In fact, Marines are the only branch that has to stand post in the afterlife, as if the life wasn’t bad enough. It’s common knowledge that Marines already have it worse than any other branch. The fitness standards are tougher, the gear is shittier, the barracks are the worst. That’s either some pretty tough love, or it’s no love at all.

Speaking of god hating me, there won’t be any new comics next week because I’ll be balls deep in the snow at the Mountain Warfare Training Center in Bridgeport, spending the week with the Marines there. Rumor has it I may even take over the official Marine Corps snapchat account… but you’ll just have to stay tuned to find out. Follow Terminal Lance on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook for updates! Click the social buttons below.

Maximilian

Creator

Terminal Lance #466 “Half Truths II”

March 24, 2017

Recruiters are a weird animal.

They’re one of the only groups of adult men that can prowl high schools for kids and not get put on some kind of watch list.¬†Much like I’ve mentioned that I could never be a drill instructor, I don’t think I could ever be a recruiter either.

Don’t get me wrong, plenty of recruiters are totally normal people. However, there’s something uniquely nefarious about convincing young men and women to sign up for something that makes me uniquely miserable. They’re an easy target for a comic strip because literally everyone in the Marine Corps has had to deal with a recruiter at least once.

For the record, my recruiter was pretty chill and normal. He told me specifically that the Marine Corps was shit, and I would probably hate my life.

Because I’m an idiot, I thought that sounded really awesome, so I enlisted as an 0300 open-contract infantryman.

To each their own, I suppose.

On a side note, I want to mention that there’s a new shirt available in the Terminal Lance Store! Show everyone you belong to a totally rad battalion with our new “Unit Skivvy” available now.

All of our shirts are printed on real Soffe standard issue, OD Green skivvy shirts right here in Southern California by a Marine owned-and-operated print shop.

Unit Shirt

Maximilian

Creator

Terminal Lance “New Joins”

January 6, 2017

Well it’s finally happened you guys. Yesterday, the first female infantry Marines checked into 1st Battalion, 8th Marines at Camp Lejeune.

Now they finally get to understand the prestige of being a grunt in the United States Marine Corps. They’ll get to do such intense physical activities as standing by in their rooms or cleaning weapons at the armory for 7 hours for no particular reason. They’ll spend a bunch of time standing around waiting for formations because First Sergeant and the CO are always late. They’ll completely stop giving a fuck about their careers after a couple of years and do the bare minimum to pass PFT’s and ranges because they just don’t care anymore and their cutting score is fucked anyway.

Welcome to being a grunt.

You’ve earned it.

It’s been a long and controversial journey, one that I don’t think is ultimately going to really change much of anything in the long run, despite keyboard scholars proclaiming otherwise. I was in the Marine Corps infantry myself, and I can tell you that it isn’t spec-ops. Not every grunt can fireman carry another 250 lb Marine in full gear. I had a Marine in my platoon that weighed 120 lbs soaking wet, and there’s no way he could have carried me or anyone else out of a danger zone.

However, there’s ten-thousand other things this Marine could have done in that situation, such as operate a radio or a machine-gun. So don’t worry, the gruntpocalypse isn’t happening quite yet, I’m sure.

We’ll see if these changes stick with the incoming administration, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they don’t. But who knows! If you’re with 1/8 and you have some insight on this story, please shoot me an email off the record and let me know how it’s going.