Terminal Lance #511 “How To: Barracks Cuts”
April 13, 2018
This is a guide. It’s not necessarily the best guide, but it’s by far the most accurate, based on the amount of photos I get every day of fucked up haircuts across the Corps…
It’s 2018 and Marines have figured out how to order clout goggles on Amazon but not how to cut hair. This might seem like a strange obsession to the laymen, but know that for (male) Marines specifically, haircuts are about 50% of your day to day. The great Green Weenie demands the weekly sacrifice of a decent hairdo, lest yee want your butthole filled with its powerful wrath. Show up on Monday morning with a fucked up fade line and you can guarantee that Staff Sergeant will have nothing better to do but fuck with your life for the rest of the day.
You’d think that with haircuts being so important to the every day existence of Marine life, they wouldn’t possibly forget every week. But they do. You’d also think that Marines would eventually figure out how to do a decent fade. But they don’t.
On a side note, I will be at Barnes & Noble Oceanside (CA) on April 28th at 1400! Join me for the release of the Terminal Lance Ultimate Omnibus! It’s gonna be lit, fam. Pay attention to the official TL Instagram and Twitter for updates, linked below.