Terminal Lance “Florence and the Marines”

September 18, 2018

I’m a little late with this, but in case you missed it, Camp Lejeune was hit by the devastating Hurricane Florence over the weekend, which cause some significant damage and equally significant barracks partying. Prior to the hurricane making landfall, the world was abuzz in disbelief that the base commander had ordered the Marines to remain in place while the hurricane battered the east coast.

How could they force the Marines to stay there?! EVERYONE WILL DIE!

Well, you’d think so at least, with the way people were freaking out about it. The deluge of hilarious videos and photos I got during and after the weather event made me start to think that the base commander was on to something… Maybe they didn’t let the Marines evacuate, because they simply knew the Marines would have so much fun if they stay.

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Weather man: there’s a category 4 hurricane coming, evacuate now. Marines:

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In all seriousness, the hurricane is no laughing matter. Practically the entire state was flooded and it is in fact a state of emergency. Being on the west coast, hurricanes aren’t something I’m super familiar with, but they seem like they suck. Of course my thoughts and prayers are with the people of the east coast as they recover from the disaster.

In another somber note, I want to mention the loss of a Marine that was in my platoon back in India Company 3/3, Weapons Platoon. Rest in peace Kasey Ozzello, or as I knew him, Ozz. He was an 0341 Mortarman back in the day and we are all sad to see him go. I was never personally super close to him, but I know his loss is affecting everyone that knew him, he was a great guy.

On a less somber note, I want to mention that I will be in San Diego on a panel hosted by the New York Times on October 4th. Please check out the event site here for tickets and the details! I’ll be joined by Pulitzer Prize winning author CJ Chivers, filmmaker Jason Hall, and Marine and author Dave Morris. It should be a good time!



Terminal Lance #502 “God Loves Marines II”

January 26, 2018

As a Senior Lance Corporal, when I hated someone, I made them stand post. It’s because of this basic logic that I refuse to believe the common trope that God in fact loves Marines. Gunny R. Lee Ermey in Full Metal Jacket would have you believe otherwise, but it just doesn’t add up.

If God loves Marines so much, why does he make them stand post when they get to heaven? In fact, Marines are the only branch that has to stand post in the afterlife, as if the life wasn’t bad enough. It’s common knowledge that Marines already have it worse than any other branch. The fitness standards are tougher, the gear is shittier, the barracks are the worst. That’s either some pretty tough love, or it’s no love at all.

Speaking of god hating me, there won’t be any new comics next week because I’ll be balls deep in the snow at the Mountain Warfare Training Center in Bridgeport, spending the week with the Marines there. Rumor has it I may even take over the official Marine Corps snapchat account… but you’ll just have to stay tuned to find out. Follow Terminal Lance on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook for updates! Click the social buttons below.