Maximilian

Creator


Terminal Lance #556 “Fab Seventeen-Seventy-Five”

August 16, 2019

If you think the Fab Five are fabulous, let me tell you about the United States Marine Corps! An organization consisting of over 90% fit males, they strictly enforce tight haircuts and tight buttholes sleeves. Dressed wrong? A fit, masculine man in the shortest, silkiest shorts will come over and set you straight.

Enlist today if you love looking good in front of all your manliest friends, being told how to think and feel about everything, and love getting fucked daily. Love showering and sleeping in the tightest of quarters with people of the same gender as you? The Marine Corps is definitely for you.

And to think, of all places, it used to be illegal to be gay there.



Maximilian

Creator

Terminal Lance “Pride in Service”

June 18, 2019

I think back to my time in the Corps and I remember how incredibly stupid it was that it was considered illegal to be gay. Not only that, but there was no shortage of ignorant, scared men defending this position as if it actually made sense (I’m sure those long, angry, hateful Facebook posts circa 2009-2010 have aged well). The set up for this comic is actually a reference to a terrible homophobic joke I’ve seen many times over the years along the lines of…

Back when I enlisted it was illegal to be gay. Now it’s allowed. I better get out before they make it mandatory!

The intent of this joke is obviously to disparage the idea of an all-gay Marine Corps, but the more you think about it, the more an all-gay Corps actually makes sense. Hear me out: if the military is all about efficiency, an all-gay Marine Corps would be much closer to that utopian society vision than the former straight Corps. With less dependents due to less pregnancies across the Corps, the force becomes much leaner and much more mobile and ultimately efficient for deployment around the world. The Marines are better-dressed, better-mannered, and better on camera for our PAO-minded HQMC folks.

Of course, this idea requires me to make sweeping generalizations about a group of people…

…So did disallowing people to serve on the basis of them being gay.

Of course, we already know that the Marine Corps is actually the gayest thing a straight man can ever do… And now that I think about it, maybe there’s a correlation to this and the fact that Marines have historically been known as one of the world’s most elite fighting forces… Perhaps a thought for another day.

Happy Pride Month.