Terminal Lance #531 “Bitch and Moan II”

September 25, 2018

Marines will bitch about anything. However, the one thing that sets Marines off the most? Cleaning. Marines, generally, feel like cleaning things is some form of torture. This is probably due to the negative association with cleaning and punishment given to most of us during boot camp. If you fuck up, expect to find yourself cleaning things for hours on end.

Despite the fact that cleaning is ultimately self-beneficial in the form of avoiding diseases and overall nastiness, Marines despise cleaning. Any effort to make them do so will be seen with absolute disdain and aversion. Marines go to great lengths to avoid cleaning in all of its dubious forms.

A lot of this has to do with pride and rate. Since cleaning is usually relegated to boots (ew), Marines that feel like they rate will see it as a challenge to their social standing within the unit. In the infantry, where basically everyone is a Lance Corporal, rate is often more important than rank. As such, cleaning becomes one of the delineating factors in who rates and who doesn’t.

Those who rate should not have to clean. Not even their own bodies.

Am I right?

In unrelated news, don’t forget that I will be in San Diego on October 4th on New York Times hosted a panel with some cool ass people. Get your tickets to the event here, and VETERANS AND ACTIVE MILITARY GET A DISCOUNT with the code “NYT.”



Terminal Lance #481 “This Guy”

July 7, 2017

We’ve all lived with this guy.

There’s always that one fucking douchebag that is dirty, smells bad, talks loud, has zero consideration for his other roommates and makes you hate your fucking life. And somehow, you always end up living with him.

He’s the guy that doesn’t help clean the room, even though most of the shit on the floor is his. He’s the guy that always eats a slice of your pizza without asking. He’s the reason your room failed field day inspection, but he just doesn’t understand why everyone is being such a dick. He’s the guy that saves over your Bloodborne game halfway through New Game+.

He’s the shitty roommate.

If you don’t know who I’m talking about, it’s very possible that you are in fact the shitty roommate.