Maximilian

Creator


Terminal Lance #456 “Dating Pool”

February 3, 2017

Sorry, civilian guys, it’s science. Female Marines exclusively date and marry only other male Marines.

It’s science. Prove me wrong.

Romance in the Marine Corps usually works something like this for male Marines:

Boy has girl “back home,” probably a high school sweetheart or some such. He joins the Marine Corps, graduates boot camp, comes home on boot leave and asks her to marry him because he’s young and has no grasp of consequences yet. Girl says yes, she moves away from home, hates her life, cheats on him and they get divorced.

Anecdotally, from my own observations, this doesn’t seem to be the case with female Marines. Lady Marines seem to exclusively date other Marines (or otherwise service members from other branches). I can make some rough guesses as to why, such as the fact that women make up a total of less than 8% of the entire Marine Corps, leaving the 92% of hyper masculine and undersexed men to fight over them. Or perhaps women generally feel like civilian men are less masculinely appealing than their Corps counterparts.

Screen Shot 2017-02-03 at 4.52.29 PM

The world may never know, but if you can find me a female Marine married to that civilian boy from back home, I’d love to talk to him.



Maximilian

Creator

Terminal Lance “New Joins”

January 6, 2017

Well it’s finally happened you guys. Yesterday, the first female infantry Marines checked into 1st Battalion, 8th Marines at Camp Lejeune.

Now they finally get to understand the prestige of being a grunt in the United States Marine Corps. They’ll get to do such intense physical activities as standing by in their rooms or cleaning weapons at the armory for 7 hours for no particular reason. They’ll spend a bunch of time standing around waiting for formations because First Sergeant and the CO are always late. They’ll completely stop giving a fuck about their careers after a couple of years and do the bare minimum to pass PFT’s and ranges because they just don’t care anymore and their cutting score is fucked anyway.

Welcome to being a grunt.

You’ve earned it.

It’s been a long and controversial journey, one that I don’t think is ultimately going to really change much of anything in the long run, despite keyboard scholars proclaiming otherwise. I was in the Marine Corps infantry myself, and I can tell you that it isn’t spec-ops. Not every grunt can fireman carry another 250 lb Marine in full gear. I had a Marine in my platoon that weighed 120 lbs soaking wet, and there’s no way he could have carried me or anyone else out of a danger zone.

However, there’s ten-thousand other things this Marine could have done in that situation, such as operate a radio or a machine-gun. So don’t worry, the gruntpocalypse isn’t happening quite yet, I’m sure.

We’ll see if these changes stick with the incoming administration, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they don’t. But who knows! If you’re with 1/8 and you have some insight on this story, please shoot me an email off the record and let me know how it’s going.