Terminal Lance Easter 2021

April 4, 2021

What could be a more valuable reward than the virtues of Marine Corps leadership? If you’re lucky, you may even find the grand prize egg containing an NJP. JJ tied a buckle for your sins, and today is the day that we celebrate his knot skills.

Grab your basket and start searching for hidden prizes.

By searching, I mean police calling the barracks. By basket, I mean trash bag.

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Terminal Lance “A Damn Good Friday”

April 10, 2020

Poor Easter Bunny… If only he would have known that Marines engage in a level of nightly debauchery reserved only for the deepest layers of hell itself. The activities of bored Marines on a Friday night are not one for the eyes of mere mortals, or even mythological creatures like the bunny of Easter. If only he had known…

With Easter on Sunday, I hope everyone can take a moment to think and talk about something other than Coronavirus. Take some time to call home, check in with mom, eat some chocolate, and leave that poor Easter Bunny alone if you see him.

Happy Easter from Terminal Lance.



Terminal Lance “Happy Easter 2019!”

April 21, 2019

It’s Easter Sunday for 2nd Marine Division, which I’m sure is just another work day. In case you missed it, the 2nd MARDIV Commanding General put out a blanket division-wide order the other day that micromanages the schedules of every Marine under the command. This is because (as the letter states), Marines and sailors are walking around with long hair, nonexistent or poor shaves, unserviceable boots and utilities and improper civilian attire.

Essentially, it seems that the Commanding General traveled around the unit and got extremely triggered at the sight of some fat nasties. It’s typical Marine Corps stuff, nothing new really–though I do appreciate the callout by MajGen Furness to yours truly here.

In any case, Happy Easter, Marines! Especially you 2nd Division gents–I’m sure you’ll need some Cadbury Eggs to soothe the unit-wide bullshit for a few weeks.



Terminal Lance “Goodest Friday”

March 30, 2018

Hiyoooooooooooooo! I’m pretty sure if you actually count the days of reservist duty and Jewish holidays in a calendar year you will come to the same valid conclusion. It’s like reservists aren’t even real people.

I’m only half-joking. There’s an flourishing disdain for reservists amongst the active duty community. Part of it is jealousy (because they get to be at home most of the time) and part of it is pride (because they aren’t looked at as real Marines since they only do the job once a month). Of course, in reality being a reservists has its own sets of challenges, but that’s a thoughtful examination not usually reserved for barracks shit talking.

For me personally, I didn’t know anything about the reserves when I enlisted. When I was at SOI, the reservist members of my 0351 class were getting ready to head back home after graduation and all I could think was:

That was an option?!

I wish you all a great Good Friday and Easter this weekend, as well as a blessed Passover tonight. Chag Sameach.



Terminal Lance “Happy Easter 2017”

April 14, 2017

You really can’t trust Marines to help with the base Easter egg hunt.

May baby Jesus bless the hearts of those that run MCCS programs for Marines and their families. No, seriously, that stuff is greatly appreciated and rarely mentioned around here, but being a Marine is shitty enough as it is, so anything that alleviates the shit really helps.

I don’t have too much to add to this strip. I debated a few topics today, such as taxes or even the “MOAB” strike in Afghanistan that everyone seems obsessed over for some reason (we’ve been bombing Afghanistan for like 15 years now, FYI). If you’re Catholic, or even just Mexican, Easter is probably a big deal to you. I’m Jewish, so the depth of it was limited to egg-birthing rabbits growing up, but knowing my audience (and the fact that I was one of two Jews in my boot camp platoon) makes me feel like a Passover joke would have passed over some heads.

In any case, Happy Easter and Chag Sameach!