Terminal Lance #491 “Honor, Courage, and Lots of Commitment”

September 8, 2017

There’s a somewhat dubious amount of commitment involved in being a Marine. The standard contract is 4 years, though many are 5 depending on what MOS you choose. As are most things in the military, this contract is very one-sided, and it’s not you that gets the final say in anything. It may as well be a sheet of paper that states:


Unlike most occupations, you can’t quit if you decide it doesn’t suit you. At best, you can ride out your 4 year commitment and give your career planner the finger when it comes time to think about reenlistment. If you choose not to show up, because maybe it’s just not for you, you’ll be sent to prison. It raises the interesting question of how many people would willingly subject themselves to the Marine Corps lifestyle if they weren’t legally bound to it.

My guess is not many.

Imagine you meet up with a girl (or boy) on Tinder, you’ve never met them before but they had a solid profile. You know what I mean; not too creepy, clear photos, one photo with a puppy or some shit, with a bio that reads like a relatively sane person.

You meet up at your local bar and you hit it off well enough. She seems great, but you’re aware you’ve only known her for 45 minutes. Anyway, the mood is right so you decide to take her back to your place. Things get hot and heavy on the couch, and she gets up to the bathroom to freshen up before what is bound to happen next…

…She comes back with a 4 year relationship agreement.

Yeah that’s basically what joining the Marine Corps is like. It’s quite a gamble really, and 4 years is a significant chunk of life to give to pretty much anything… Though I’m sure your recruiter convinced you it wasn’t.



Terminal Lance #466 “Half Truths II”

March 24, 2017

Recruiters are a weird animal.

They’re one of the only groups of adult men that can prowl high schools for kids and not get put on some kind of watch list.¬†Much like I’ve mentioned that I could never be a drill instructor, I don’t think I could ever be a recruiter either.

Don’t get me wrong, plenty of recruiters are totally normal people. However, there’s something uniquely nefarious about convincing young men and women to sign up for something that makes me uniquely miserable. They’re an easy target for a comic strip because literally everyone in the Marine Corps has had to deal with a recruiter at least once.

For the record, my recruiter was pretty chill and normal. He told me specifically that the Marine Corps was shit, and I would probably hate my life.

Because I’m an idiot, I thought that sounded really awesome, so I enlisted as an 0300 open-contract infantryman.

To each their own, I suppose.

On a side note, I want to mention that there’s a new shirt available in the Terminal Lance Store! Show everyone you belong to a totally rad battalion with our new “Unit Skivvy” available now.

All of our shirts are printed on real Soffe standard issue, OD Green skivvy shirts right here in Southern California by a Marine owned-and-operated print shop.

Unit Shirt