Terminal Lance #561 “The Clown”

November 1, 2019

The Career Jammer (as he’s affectionately known, colloquially) is a close relative of the Recruiter. Both Marines are specially trained in their fields of deceiving people, perhaps even so much that they believe the lies themselves. While the Recruiter specializes in prowling for underage and underprivileged children, the Career Planner preys on young Corporals coming up on their looming EAS dates.

Retention goals abound, they are tasked with convincing the next generation of young men and women that they should enlist yet another four years of their lives in the service of Uncle Sam’s Misguided Children.

They will tell you that, with your newfound NCO status, you’ll be treated with respect this time. You can choose where you want to go. Like a desperate, abusive partner, they’ll tell you the second time will be better. They promise.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice…

…Consider me a clown.



Terminal Lance “Gag Reflex”

October 23, 2019

The Career Planner is a weird guy. He’s like a recruiter, except instead of luring high school students to Applebee’s, he preys on already-enlisted Marines. Each Marine he re-enlists is another notch on his belt, feasting off of the legendary power of DD-214’s that were never to be, and youth lost to the Corps.

Don’t fall for his ruse, for it is… a ruse.

There are few reenlistment incentives that can match the holy power of the Post 9/11 GI Bill. The career planner knows this, so he will try to trick you with bonuses and promises of a better future, perhaps even select items of your choosing. The second term is better, he says, you’ll be treated with more respect.

You must resist, for this deal can not be undone. A second enlistment leads to a third, and then a fourth, and next thing you know, you’re at the PX eyeing that mess dress uniform and justifying its $1300 cost.

There is no justification.

…It’s all a ruse.