Maximilian

Creator


Terminal Lance “Corpsman Up: Coronavirus”

March 27, 2020

While all the hype in the medical pandemic world is centered around the infamous COVID-19 virus, Corpsmen across the Corps have been at the frontlines of battling microbial infections in genitals across the military for years. In a report released in summer of last year, sexually transmitted infections amongst military personnel are on the rise, keeping Corpsmen and medics across the spectrum of the armed forces busier than birds and bees.

With the Marines “socially isolated” from each other and the civilian population at large, I can imagine that venereal diseases, unplanned pregnancies, and general dumbfuckery are down quite a bit. Imagine being a Corpsman in this time, having spent the last years of your life examining odd blemishes on Marine genitalia for the majority of your career, only to have it taken away from you at a moment’s notice.

The coronavirus affects us all.

In all seriousness, and this should go without saying, I’m not here to make light of the seriousness of the coronavirus situation. Living in LA, I’m as grateful as anyone to see the Navy’s hospital ship arrive this morning to help with the national crisis at hand.

God bless all of our medical workers right now, Corpsmen included.



Maximilian

Creator

Terminal Lance #476 “Corpsman Up”

June 2, 2017

Doc always wants to be a Marine until it’s time to do Marine shit.

For the record, getting yelled at and forced to do dumb shit is definitely classified as Marine shit.

Ever platoon has at least one Corpsman, and somehow they always find a way to skate out of all of the shitty Marine shit. Of course, BAS is their go-to, but we all know they don’t actually do anything there. This is further backed up by the fact that Marines never actually go to medical, so I mean what would they be doing there?

Everyone loves Doc, but he’s also an asshole because he gets to get out of the daily suck since he’s Navy and they usually get treated like ‘people’ instead of pieces of shit. In that regard, Corpsman is kind of the best job in a platoon, if you ignore being forced to look at random sores on the genitals of your platoon every day, as well as anally violating Marines with thermometers…

Then again, they’re Navy, so they probably enjoy that too.