Terminal Lance #560 “Sunday at the Base Barber”

September 27, 2019

Haircuts and Marines… Name a more iconic duo. I hope you’ve cleared your weekend of any plans, because you’re about to spend at least 4 hours of your Sunday at the PX waiting for your weekly $7 head-scraping. Dare to show up Monday morning without a fresh ‘do and see how far you get before Staff Sergeant loses his damn mind.

I dare you.

Haircuts are as much a part of Marine culture as camouflage and dependents, but for whatever reason it seems to be one of those understated parts of the enlistment that you don’t really think about when you sign up. It’s also something that Marine bases are oddly underprepared for.

Literally the entire Marine Corps knows that 93% of the population needs to get a fresh haircut for Monday, yet each base stocks maybe 4 civilian barbers on any given Sunday to rake in those $2 tips.

In all seriousness, since it’s such a huge part of the culture, it should really just be an MOS. There’s already a dedicated Mexican in every barracks that can do a fade, just send him to beauty school already and put him in a squad bay with 40 other barbers each Sunday to glow-up the whole base.

It would take like 45 minutes tops.



Terminal Lance #459 “Higher and Tighter”

February 21, 2017

As the Staff NCO moves up, his hairline follows. This is the unwritten rule, a creed by which all Staff NCO’s are bound. While this comic just illustrates the beginning, this will eventually culminate into the highest and tightest of haircuts: the Screaming Eagle.

Know this, however, that the Screaming Eagle haircut is actually a scream for help. Help from within; for inside of every Staff NCO is a Lance Corporal wondering what happened. Every knife-hand filled with regret, and the regrets beget new knife-hands in its place. Every ass-chewing a lament, ruing the weight of the rockers upon their collarbones.

Luckily for him, base barbers are experts at crafting the $7 art piece to sit atop one’s head, an ever obvious indication of their cry for help.


I apologize for the absence last week, I was in London yet again visiting my beloved for Valentine’s Day. In the meantime, I’m really happy that Jeff Sornig was able to fill in for me in the interim. He’s a super talented guy working here in LA at Nickelodeon, a retired Master Sergeant, and all around cool dude. You can see more of his work here. I was slightly absent in the upcoming to my trip, only because I was trying to finish up a new Terminal Lance project before I left…

I was thinking of trying to do some kind of travel blog thingy during my trip to London, but I was jet-lagged as fuck for the first 3 days and then sick as a dog the remainder of the trip.

For the record, I am currently back stateside, so look forward to more TL on Friday! In the meantime, follow the official TL channels on Twitter, Instagram and FB for more hilarity.

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