Terminal Lance “The Day My Marine Corps Came Alive”

November 10, 2017

The Corps is steeped in a rich history of drunken men fighting people all around the world.

Were it not for that first alcoholic that raised his hand and said, “Yes, I will ride around in a boat and fight people I’ve never met,” we wouldn’t be here today celebrating the 242nd birthday of the prestigious United States Marine Corps.

We always hear the tale of the Marine Corps’ humble beginnings in Tun Tavern back on November 10th, 1775; but we never really get the details. I like to imagine it went down something like this, though I know the (then) British Navy uniforms are illustrated here without any regard to historical accuracy, but that’s because Google Image Search failed me when I attempted to figure it out.

On a sidenote, I’d like to thank the Marines from MALS-13 for letting me crash their birthday ball as the guest of honor last night. My wife and I had an amazing time and it was great getting to see all you drunk assholes having a blast in that hanger. Swinging with the wing for a night is quite a bit of fun.

Happy 242nd Birthday, Marines.



Terminal Lance #468 “Personal Financial Management II”

April 4, 2017

Man you can save so much money when you don’t have a life.

Marines are terrible with money. We all know the jokes about paying for a new Mustang with 75% interest, but they’re not really jokes at all because these motherfuckers do it every day. It’s always interesting how broke Marines generally are on that “Lance Corporal pay,” (myself included) when you consider the fact that single Marines don’t have to pay their own rent or for their own food if they don’t want to. The paycheck that Marines do get is nearly 100% disposable income, and it is more often than not disposed of at strip clubs and on copious amounts of alcohol from the 7 day store.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not advocating for anyone to live the boring ass life of an old man or worse, a Staff NCO; but I often regret how much money I wasted while I was aboard MCBH Kaneohe Bay. Let’s be real for a second, the chow hall food isn’t that bad.

Some of the best omelets you’ll ever have, to be honest.