Tag: mcrd

  • The Story of Creation II

    The Story of Creation II

    In the beginning, God created the Recruit. He was wretched, diseased and malformed. Cursed to a life of misery aboard the Marine Corps Recruit Depots of San Diego and Parris Island. Part of their torture was being given the opportunity to gaze upon the glory of the soft-serve ice cream machines endemic to every chow hall…but they were forbidden from touching it.

    For real though, why is this thing even there? The Marines eat in a separate area from the diseased recruits, so obviously they could remove it from the recruit side.

    My personal theory is that it is there just as the forbidden fruit was placed in the garden of Eden: temptation. The Drill Instructors want you to fail so that they have another reason to yell at you.

    Don’t be the one that listens to the snake. Avoid the ice cream.

  • The Peanut Butter Shot

    The Peanut Butter Shot

    There are few experiences as universally despised and ubiquitous to Marine Corps bootcamp as the dreaded “peanut butter shot.” This penicillin cocktail is the bane of new recruits across San Diego and Parris Island for its thick consistency and 12-gauge needle that gets administered directly into the buttocks.

    I’m not a doctor, so I can’t tell you why a penicillin shot needs to be thick as Skippy (with nuts), but I can tell you it sucks to be on the receiving end of it. The worst part? They make you butt-roll on the ground immediately after to squish it deeper into your muscle tissue.

    Those with the red dog tags got lucky with this one.

    On a personal note, I just want to mention that I recognize that I’ve been absent a lot lately. Those of you that don’t know, I am now utilizing my GI Bill to do a graduate program at UCLA, and we just finished finals. Hand-painting animation cels is not as fun as it sounds, let me tell you.

    It’s been a tough balance this time though, especially now that I’m a father as well. I have a lot more thoughts on it, but I will leave it for now…

  • Smellgood

    Smellgood

    They say that scent is the sense that is closest linked to memory. One whiff of something from a past life can send you on a journey of pungent nostalgia. Well, at least, I saw this in an Axe Bodyspray commercial once.

    For me, I can’t get a sniff of Purell Hand Sanitizer without having flashbacks to my time at the San Diego Recruit Depot. It’s one of the many smells that make up the pungent funk of Marine Corps recruits en masse. Anyone who’s been in a Marine Corps squad bay knows the smell of 60-plus barely-bathed recruits is one that is not easily forgotten.

    Drill Instructors are surely a hardy breed to be able to put up with such foul wretches for as long as they do.

    We should be thankful.

  • Swim Qual

    Swim Qual

    Swim qual is another one of those things that would be fun if it wasn’t in the Marine Corps. In theory, jumping into a pool with your closest friends and swimming around should be a grand old time.

    However, trying to swim across a pool or tread water for 5 minutes in boots and cammies is a lot harder than it initially looks. These training events more often than not devolve into a panic-attack of splishing and splashing while a cold-hearted instructor watches you drown.

    Me personally: I consider myself a relatively strong swimmer, and had no real problems passing swim qual “2” (the old system pre-2012) in boot camp. I occasionally surf as well, and I can tell you personally that water has a way of separating the real men from the boys. As big and tough as you may think you are, you’re no match for the domain of Poseidon. A big body of water will quickly humble you in seconds if you’re not ready for it.

    It was interesting to see the wide range of proficiencies and deficiencies aboard the Recruit Depot. I was a weak body that couldn’t do 10 pull-ups (tall and lanky), but I could shoot Expert, never fell out of a single hump, and passed Swim Qual with flying colors. Conversely, my platoon guide could run a 300 PFT, but he unq’d on the range and nearly drowned in the pool.

    The Marine Corps is truly a place of unmatched diversity. But never forget, Marines are first and foremost expected to be amphibious.