Terminal Lance #269 “The Birds and the Bees”

June 7, 2013

I could never do it.

I could never be a Drill Instructor.

Don’t get me wrong, I respect what they do. Without DI’s we wouldn’t have Marines. It’s hard, difficult work and not everyone is cut out for it. I consider myself one of those people. I couldn’t be a DI because I just don’t think I would enjoy being a complete asshole 24/7 for 3 months straight. That’s a very demanding regimen of eating nothing but recruit dignity and sorrow, and I’ve never been particularly good at dieting.

But really, it does take a special kind of person to actually be a good Drill Instructor. You can’t just yell all the time, or no one takes you seriously. I found that the new DI’s tend to yell the most. They think that’s the way to get results, when really, it was much scarier when one of them didn’t wear their anger on the surface. When you didn’t know what they were thinking… that’s when you would shit your pants. Having someone screaming in your face is something you get used to, rather quickly I might add, so it becomes a little less intimidating after a while.

Again though, I have plethoric respect for those that wear the campaign cover. It’s just a tough job, babysitting 60-100 mildly-retarded recruits that smell like a combination of sweaty shit and Cobra 65.

So, good on you, Drill Instructors. I could never do what you do, and would never want to.

Sorry for the late update, I had a doctor’s appointment today that went a bit long. In other news, stay tuned over the next few days for an announcement that may or may not be related to a compilation book of Marine Corps Times strips that have never been featured online.

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