Terminal Lance “Dreams of the Orient”

April 12, 2013

Abe isn’t lying, if you’ve been reading for a while, you might have noticed that the only women he sleeps with or otherwise seem to be Asian. Don’t ask me, I just draw it how it is. On a more serious note though, I’m sure this has crossed many Marines’ minds as war with North Korea becomes an increasing possibility in the currently heated political climate. I have my doubts as to whether or not it will actually happen, but you never know.

As Garcia mentions though, Korean food isn’t really bad–it’s just weird. I’ve only had it once, but there’s a reason for that. One time, as I was on leave in Los Angeles, my wife at the time lived in Korea Town. My mom and my niece came to visit us and we decided to try out this Korean restaurant near our apartment. I wasn’t really sure what to expect, and honestly I wasn’t really sure what I got either.

So we sit down, it seems like a nice enough place, it’s clean and not too crowded. There’s a weird button on the table, it’s red and has some drawing of a person on it. Being the naturally curious person that I am, I push the button about 40 times before a waiter comes to our table and says to me, “Stop pushing button!” Apparently it was some kind of service button, or a panic button, I’m not sure. Looking at the menu, I had no idea what to get. I saw something with chicken and rice so I got that, it also came with soup so I figured it would be a safe bet. The soup comes out first, but it’s cold. Apparently this is a normal thing: cold “soup,” filled with cabbage and other vegetables. Not really my thing, so I take a few sips and pass on it. My niece had ordered some kind of hot soup, and it came with an egg still in the shell.

Naturally, you would assume that this was a hard boiled egg. My niece, maybe 8 years old at the time, picks up the egg and cracks it open to eat, only to have the raw contents spill on the table in front of her. All of us were surprised, but apparently you’re supposed to put the raw egg into the hot soup, and the soup cooks it. There was no instruction manual, of course, so our largely white mentalities (sans my ex wife, who is Lao) didn’t suffice for this experience.

Anyway, back to the point, of course no one really wants to go to war with North Korea. Not because we’re afraid, but because it would be an unnecessary ass-beating. No one wants to see an unnecessary ass-beating.