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I dunno, I just don't like being called a dog.
Gabe on July 24, 2010, 08:17:35 PM
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Jokes and sarcasm for me are a way of life, I'd love to hear what's out there. If you read the thread and get offended, the title says it all. This isn't a room for a debate, dammit.

Let me start this off...

Whats the best thing about fucking pregnant girls??? you get pussy and head at the same time.

How is anal sex and spinach the same? If you are forced to have either as a kid, you won't enjoy them as an adult.


« Last Edit: April 13, 2011, 07:58:32 AM by Gabriel »

Phoenix Lance on July 24, 2010, 10:05:35 PM
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even as a female marine i am not offended by this joke:

What's the difference between a female marine and a zebra??
A zebra doesn't have to lay on it's back to earn it's stripes.

Gabe on July 24, 2010, 10:15:07 PM
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Hahahahaaha! I've heard that before....

This is an oldie..
If god designed the top half of a woman's body, who designed the bottom half?
A black man.... who else would give something big lips, stinky breath, and an afro?

Morsetlis on July 24, 2010, 10:17:29 PM
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Who needs jokes when reality is so fucking funny.

Also I'm terrible at jokes, I only make fun of people :(
"What do I have to know?"
"Everything."

Gabe on July 24, 2010, 10:26:03 PM
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You're so emo...

Motivated Motivation on July 24, 2010, 10:58:38 PM
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Emo people make fun of themselves.

keep you gay crap at Terminal Lance the ultimate gay marine site

M̟̼͍͇͟a̭̩̳͔͓̺͛ͨd͍̜̙͙̾ͅn̸͕͙̥͕͙̗ḛ̪͕͂͘s͕̮̞͑s̵̯

Gabe on July 24, 2010, 11:04:10 PM
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The lack of jokes disgust me.

What's the best thing about an eight year-old Asian boy? You roll him over and he's an eight year-old Asian girl.

Phoenix Lance on July 24, 2010, 11:24:38 PM
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this isn't really a joke, just something i found funny at the end of boot camp.

3rd battalion quebec company would shout this...

"1st battalion sucks 2nd battalion's nuts, 3rd battalion fucks those 4th battalion sluts!"

most of the females i graduated with thought it was offensive, obviously they didn't grow up like i did, i found it pretty funny.

Gabe on July 24, 2010, 11:38:31 PM
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Am I to assume you are from phx?

Blinx on July 25, 2010, 02:33:31 AM
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A black and a mexican are together in a car.  Who is driving?

The arresting officer.

I'm Jewish, so I challenge the board to come up with a Jew joke I haven't heard.

tanbelt_ninja on July 25, 2010, 02:44:26 AM
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how do you start a jewish marathon? roll a penny down a hill

Gabe on July 25, 2010, 03:12:02 AM
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A samurai, kung fu master, and a rabbi were having a discussion. there was a fly and in a flash the kung fu master slices the air and the fly drops in two pieces. The samurai, unimpressed proceeds to chop the next fly into four pieces. Both swordsman look at the rabbi as he stands up w a pocket knife. The rabbi take a half hearted swing at the fly and both swordsman proceed to laugh at his miss. the rabbi says "I didnt miss, I circumcised him"

Lol. I open all racist jokes.
How do you stop the polish calvary in full charge? Unplug the carousel

that_guy on July 25, 2010, 03:12:40 AM
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What's Black on Top and White on the Bottom?
Rape.

A black and a mexican are together in a car.  Who is driving?

The arresting officer.

I'm Jewish, so I challenge the board to come up with a Jew joke I haven't heard.

You asked for it:
What's the difference between jews and boyscouts?
Boyscouts come back from their camps!

Gabe on July 25, 2010, 03:26:16 AM
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What's Black on Top and White on the Bottom?
Rape.

A black and a mexican are together in a car.  Who is driving?

The arresting officer.

I'm Jewish, so I challenge the board to come up with a Jew joke I haven't heard.

You asked for it:
What's the difference between jews and boyscouts?
Boyscouts come back from their camps!

Hahahahaha! Holy fucking shit, thats awesome.

Blinx on July 25, 2010, 04:18:15 AM
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What's Black on Top and White on the Bottom?
Rape.

A black and a mexican are together in a car.  Who is driving?

The arresting officer.

I'm Jewish, so I challenge the board to come up with a Jew joke I haven't heard.

You asked for it:
What's the difference between jews and boyscouts?
Boyscouts come back from their camps!
Mother fucker, I expected it to be longer than that, ROFL... 9 yrs in the Corps and I had not heard that...

cliffclimber on July 25, 2010, 04:45:06 AM
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I knew a guy once that was half Native American and Half Jewish. I guess he was a bargain hunter gatherer
The other day it dawned on me that Katy Perry did more cool Marine stuff in a three minute long video than I will in my whole career

Hollywood_Hebrew on July 25, 2010, 05:14:52 AM
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Ok this one has a story behind it...

So back a few years ago when i was a boot, of course from time to time the grunt boots get tasked to do other MOS's work so in someones elite wisdom they sent about 7 of us to the motor pool to start putting Humvee's together (wtf?) . So anyway we're all joking around making fun of each other and here comes my turn, being the tolken jew in my company i've heard it all right? wrong. Everyone starts bashing on me and i smile and laugh cause i think its all funny, well my buddy gets very serious, which is odd because he's the joyful type, and he says to them all "hey, thats enough guys, seriously my grandpa actually died in a concentration camp..." We were all kinda shocked and everyone felt really bad and another friends says "damn man im sorry, that sucks.. how'd he die?" and my buddy responds "He fell off of the tower"  well everyone starts cracking up because NO ONE was expecting that. Meanwhile it took me a few hours to get that because he sounded so serious about the whole thing i thought he was telling the truth. Deffinitely one of the funniest jokes i've ever heard and the way it was presented was flawless.

Gabe on July 25, 2010, 05:53:05 AM
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Why do all black men have nightmares?
Because the government killed the only one with a dream.

CPL_GeeOh on July 25, 2010, 06:17:52 AM
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what the difference between a black man and a bench?
a bench can support a family of 5
 
who has some good mexican jokes?

Phoenix Lance on July 25, 2010, 06:35:08 AM
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Am I to assume you are from phx?

yes, i'm from phx

Phoenix Lance on July 25, 2010, 06:41:47 AM
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What's the difference between a black guy and a bike??

A bike doesn't sing when you put chains on it.

Gabe on July 25, 2010, 07:01:24 AM
  • Guest
What's the difference between a black guy and a bike??

A bike doesn't sing when you put chains on it.

that's pretty fucking funny. was just curious about phoenix tho. I'm an born and raised az boy, that's all.


Gabe on July 25, 2010, 07:03:23 AM
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what the difference between a black man and a bench?
a bench can support a family of 5
 
who has some good mexican jokes?

Why do Mexicans wear sombreros?
So they have a place to hold their burrito while they are stealing your rims.

SSGT Corvus on July 25, 2010, 07:54:25 AM
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How do you get a black man to shut up? Ask him to leave the theater.
How do you get a mexican to shut up? Ask him a question in English.
How do you get a woman to shut up? Put a dick in her mouth.
Can we just clone Corvus and have a Corvus-clone mod army?

FieldDayAgain on July 25, 2010, 08:27:24 AM
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what's the difference between animals and black people?

...not all animals look alike!