Maximilian

Creator

Terminal Lance “Revenge of the Dependapotamus” #2

December 3, 2013

This Lance Corporal seems to have evaded the first line of guards at Vagabba the Slut’s lair, will his Master Skater training prepare him for the Chaplain?

FIND OUT ON THE NEXT EPISODE OF REVENGE OF THE DEPENDAPOTAMUS.

Okay, I know it really doesn’t make any sense that the Chaplain is at this woman’s house. Just go with me here.

Isn’t modern technology a wonderful thing? Smartphones, tablets, portable gaming devices and the like have really changed the way we consume porn for the better. No longer are you stuck dragging your big, bulky laptop into your barracks bathroom with the obvious intent of self-flagellation; you can now just bring your smartphone already in your pocket.

On a completely unrelated note, I was always kind of confused on the official regulation of the green USMC zip-up hoodie. It’s a superior clothing item to the crew-neck sweater you get issued in boot camp, but from what I understand it isn’t officially in regs. When I was in Hawaii, I stayed home for the holidays (I was saving up for terminal leave). We had a terrible tropical storm, and since the entire battalion was on leave, no one was really doing anything important. First Sergeant had called us all back to the barracks for an accountability gathering, but it wasn’t an actual formation. I was married at the time, so I drove to the barracks from base housing.

I decided to wear nothing more than my cammy bottoms with a skivvy shirt and the green zip-up hoodie. The first thing I hear as I approach the barracks is my First Sergeant telling me, “Hey Devil, you know that hoodie isn’t within regulation right?”

I actually didn’t know, because like most Lance Corporals I’ve never wanted to take the time to read any regulations myself.

I think my reply was something along the lines of, “Well that sucks, First Sergeant.” We were all in ‘holiday mode’ however, and he didn’t even really care.

Anyway, can you believe it’s December already? It’s really caught me off guard how fast the holidays have shown up. Enjoy your leave if you get it, and if you don’t, enjoy sitting in your room playing Battlefield 4 when you’re not on duty.

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