Maximilian

Creator

Terminal Lance “Seek Medical Attention”

November 13, 2012

Well as I’m sure you all know, this weekend was the most motivated weekend of the year. Those of you with a propensity toward motivation might have had a rough time dealing with your rock-hard erections over the last 48 hours. I know, it’s hard, there’s all this talk of 237 years, of veterans serving their country and free food at Applebee’s. It can be a lot to handle if you’re the type to spend your waking moments day-dreaming of uniform regulations and Marine Corps Orders.

I can’t stress enough though, an erection lasting longer than 4 hours is a medical emergency. Please go to your local emergency room or schedule and appointment with your doctor immediately.

In other news, Veteran’s Day was pretty awesome. I went to CPK with my good friend Aaron, another Marine. I had read online that CPK was doing a veteran thing, offering a free pizza and drink to any vets that happened to walk in. It seemed like a great deal so I took them up on it. I’m happy I did, because while we were there, the manager came out and personally handed us a voucher for another free pizza and drink the next time we came in to eat. I know right?

I received a message from a fan telling me that the free food on Veteran’s Day was bullshit, because it’s just to bring in more business–thereby making it a shallow cashing in of America’s service members. The way I see it? I wouldn’t be a red-blooded American if I didn’t take advantage of free food that also supported our capitalist economy.

This is America, dammit. I’m getting fed and people are making money, works for me.

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