Maximilian

Creator

Terminal Lance #211 “Stolen Valor”

July 3, 2012

I’m sure everyone in the military is aware of the Supreme Court’s ruling on the Stolen Valor act by now. I won’t comment on their decision, it was theirs to make; but I will just say that there is nothing more despicable than one of these assholes pretending to be something they’re not.

I’m sure as children we all pretended to be things we weren’t. I put on a Batman outfit for Halloween and pretended to be Batman. I loved Batman, I wanted to be Batman. As I got older, however, I realized I was not Batman and would never be Batman. This is something most children come to terms with. Unfortunately, many do not. Instead of Batman however, they’re impersonating real heroes and telling lies about real events.

Marines and Soldiers alike don’t take lightly to being impersonated. There’s a plethora of Facebook pages and websites (Terminal Lance is not one of them) dedicated to rooting out these basement-dwelling, neckbeard douche-umbrellas for everything they are. Whatever rocks these guys get off by imitating people much better than them, I don’t know. I know that if I never would have enlisted, I probably would have just continued on with my life. On some level I pity these idiots, because clearly their lives are so pathetic that they have lie to the world about who they actually are.

These Stolen Valor assholes are children, pretending to be Batman.

On another note, if you’re going to impersonate a Marine or otherwise, at least do it in a believable way.

Master Funnery Sergeant

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