Terminal Lance #208 “Acronymia”

June 22, 2012

If there’s one thing the military has no shortage of, it’s acronyms. There’s so many acronyms in the military that the point of them has been rendered completely useless. When you have as many acronyms as the military does, it actually becomes harder to remember them. You’re bombarded with random arrangements of words that ultimately have no contextual importance other than the acronym itself. No one cares that the SAW is short for “Squad Automatic Weapon,” they just call it a SAW–the meaning is completely negligible.

Some of these acronyms are also just reaching kind of far. The acronym “TOW” stands for:

Tube-launched, Optically-tracked, Wire command data link, guided missile. (or sometimes just Wire-guided Missile). I mean really, if you’re going to make an acronym, it’s kind of cheating to make every single word a hyphenated word. At this point, you could just say whatever the fuck you want:

We could just call the TOW “Terrorist-killing, Old-people-fucking, Women-panty-dropping-missile-thing-launched-from-a-tube.” Would it even make a difference?

My central point? I have no idea. I guess just that having to remember 100 acronyms is actually a lot more difficult than just remembering what regular words mean.