Terminal Lance #31 “Shitter Graffiti is an Art… of Dicks”

April 20, 2010

During my tours of Iraq and my bouts with CAX and other periods of training, I was always slightly dumbfounded at the obsession that Marines seem to have with male genitalia. Rarely, in fact, do you find crude wall-drawings of vaginas or uteri, but 90% of all shitter graffiti is in fact cock and ball-oriented. I remember the cave drawings of my 2nd deployment quite fondly. We were working out of Camp Cupcake, Iraq (al Asad), and were subject to the robust public transportation system of buses with color-coded routes. On the back of the bus seats on every single bus were epic illustrations of everything from penises to uh… more penises. I remember it being a game, seeing how many penises you could find on one seat.

The drawings weren’t just simple stick figures either, some were given genuine effort–as if being graded by some phallic-obsessed school teacher. I saw cocks with wings, angelic in all their grace and glory; cocks with semen bursting from the tip in a straight line like some kind of crude 1980’s videogame relic; cocks with names scribbled onto and underneath, overhead and to the side to ensure everyone knew who was a dick in their platoon. For every twenty cocks, I’d say, there may have been one vagina or tit scratched onto the surface.

Aside from the genital interest, Marines also have a knack for writing about other peoples’ wives, their chain of command and even their friends. My personal favorite of the shitter graffiti is the “look right!” on the left side, and the “look left!” on the right side. I imagine certain particularly special Marines may get stuck in that cycle for hours on end, possibly to be declared UA. Again, this is just the sort of stuff that goes on in my imagination… hopefully.

In site news, I mentioned in the News section and on the Facebook fan page that I will be putting up limited edition prints for sale on eBay sometimes this week. As soon as I get myself some priority mail envelopes ready to go I’ll get right on that. The prints are a set of 10, 8.5″ x 11″ high quality Kodak glossy paper, hand autographed by me and will be sold for $50 each. Limit one per customer! I’ll let you all know when they go up for sale, don’t expect them to last very long. The proceeds will be going to me, because I’m awesome. Actually, I’m going on Terminal tomorrow and I’ll be out of a job here pretty soon. Money is one of those things I’m going to need, so these sort of things develop naturally.

Expect more prints and fun things to start going on sale, I will keep you all updated via the News post of the site and via the Facebook group, so keep up on those if you want the latest info between comic posts.

On a side note, I added a new photo of me to the “About Terminal Lance” section of the site. I figured I’d take some new official photos before I got out, seeing as I didn’t have any. Apparently the photo is offending certain people on Facebook, I’m not sure why. At any rate, you all know my face now. I’ll be around KBay for the next couple of weeks before I go home, so if you see me around, feel free to say what’s up. Though, expect after tomorrow is through, I will probably have a beard and a full head of hair before I take my leave of the island.

With that I bid you all adieu, and I’d like to remind you all that even if I don’t respond to all of your emails I do appreciate getting them. I try to keep up with it all but I get plenty of emails every day, so you’ll have to bear with me. In any case, thank you all for the support and I’ll see you on the other side. Terminal Lance will continue as scheduled for as long as I deem myself able to do so, so don’t expect me to stop posting your beloved, crass comics any time soon.

Oh and if you are offended by this strip, please, I implore you, hit the little “X” button in the corner of your window. The site totally just disappears, it’s really neat. Seriously though, if you’re offended by this strip, you’ve never been in a port-a-shitter around the Marine Corps and no, I don’t care.